I’ll Never Stop Believing in Love

Next week is Valentine’s Day. It’s a holiday that pretty much stinks for those of us who don’t have a romantic partner. Well, at least it does for us sappy ones who fell in love with “The Notebook” and believe our Noah is out there somewhere.

This morning I got a sweet text from my daughter who is away at college. She said she just wanted me to know how much she loves me. I love those kinds of texts. I reminded her that I was the first person to ever love her.

We have talked at length about how incredible the love of a mother is. I’ve said the same thing to her many times, and it basically goes like this.

If you don’t believe in God, you have not witnessed the birth of a baby. The actual birth is in of itself a miracle, but all biology aside, it is nothing short of a miracle that from the moment you were born, I loved you (and your siblings) more than anyone else I’ve ever loved before.

More than my parents or siblings or husband. From the moment you were born, I would literally give my life for yours.

You weren’t even a minute old, but my love for you was that powerful. Beyond any reason or logic or explanation. That is love.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, the cancer that we thought my mom had beaten, came back with a vengeance. It had metastasized and now instead of a hopeful future, we were all watching the sand in the hourglass.

Her days were numbered and we weren’t sure if she would make it to the birth of my baby. I was beyond devastated. 

One day in March, just two months before I was due, my mom coded in the hospital. Somehow she pulled through and I literally got on my knees and begged God to let her live long enough to see her first grandchild be born. 

My wish came true and my mom was there when I gave birth. I was overjoyed that she got to be with me on the happiest day of my life and thought I gave her such a gift.

That high we were all on was ripped out from under us just three weeks later when her oncologist said she only had a few days left to live.

The day of her funeral, I got a card from my old boss, Nancy. Her words will forever be engraved in my heart. She said, “Clearly your mom waited. What an incredible gift she gave to you.”

I couldn’t stop crying, buckets and buckets of tears. I realized Nancy was right. My mom stayed alive so she could meet her granddaughter, but not just for herself, it was for me.

She fought the cancer with everything she had, beyond what the doctors predicted, beyond the grueling pain, just so she could give me that gift.

I am still floored that the love in her heart was stronger than the illness that was ravaging her body.

Love is so simple in its complexity-it’s healing, it’s peace, it’s companionship, it’s selflessness, it’s powerful and it’s a miracle.

I am so lucky to have so much love in my life-my family, my friends and God. I am blessed beyond measure and will never take my good fortune for granted.

And maybe one day, if I’m really lucky, I will find my Noah. In the meantime, I’ve seen its almighty power, and I will never stop believing in love…