Know When Not to Compromise

There are so many times in life that we need to make concessions. I wholeheartedly believe in compromise when the issue at hand isn’t something you feel strongly about. 

For example, a few years ago, my daughter and I were planning a trip together. I wanted go to Germany and The Netherlands, but she had a dream of going to Greece. So I conceded and we had the most amazing time on a European cruise that included Santorini and Katakolon.

Spending that one-on-one time with Kerri was way more important than where we actually went.

Even every day things can be lessons on how the little things don’t really matter. Say you and a friend are making plans to go out to dinner and you were thinking Italian, but she suggests Japanese.

I would just go to the Japanese restaurant. It’s more about spending time together than where you eat.

However, sometimes it’s important to stick to your guns and get what you want.

The first time I ever bought a house, I had to make a lot of concessions. The house was on a busy road, it backed up to a graveyard and it was pretty small. However, it was only $150,000 and the reality is there was not much we could buy for that price. 

Of course, I would have preferred a bigger house in a sleepy neighborhood with a white picket fence. But we had to compromise if we wanted to buy a house. So that’s what we did.

Fast forward 25 years later, the good news is when I buy my next house, I won’t need to compromise on so many things. 

When my friend Nicole was looking for her last house, she was very clear on her must-haves. She said many things were negotiable, but she really wanted a basement for her kids and a bathroom with a window.  

Those things she was not willing to live without. It took her a while to find her dream home, but now that she’s in it, she’s so glad she waited and didn’t settle.

Her list wasn’t long or unrealistic. That’s the key. Be realistic in your must-haves, flexible on things that just aren’t as important and be steadfast on the things that are.

Nicole and I have come to the conclusion that there is no perfect house, no perfect job and certainly, no perfect relationship.

You have to decide for yourself what your non-negotiables are and be true to yourself. If a guy you’re dating has been caught in lies and honesty is at the top of your list, then do yourself a favor and don’t lower your bar, just because they have.

Because at the end of the day, if you get an amazing house or job or even relationship, it won’t feel like you had to trade anything off to get what you wanted.

Perfect ‘anything’ just doesn’t exist. Know yourself, know what’s really important and know when not to compromise.