Wait to Make Any Major Decisions

Some advice is so good, you feel like telling everyone you know. I heard this advice a few years ago and I’ve repeated it many times to many people. It just makes sense.

After you go through a big loss, like the death of a loved one or a divorce, don’t make any major decisions for at least a year.

That’s not to say you can’t make changes in your life, but ideally you will wait a year to make sure the choice comes from a place of logic and not emotion.

I have a friend (we’ll call her Rosa) from Washington who moved to North Carolina five years before losing her mother. She was very happy in North Carolina, it was good for her husband’s business and it was much more affordable to live there.

Shortly after her mom passed away, she decided she just had to move back to Washington to be near extended family and friends.

She didn’t think of the whole picture-would this decision be best for her marriage or her kids, would it be difficult to start over, again?

Her thinking was laser focused with only one task- to get back to Washington.

After Rosa moved back and the dust settled, she realized she had made a big mistake. The utopia of Washington was a fantasy she had created to help with her loss.

Moving home was a temporary distraction from her grief that she realized followed her no matter what zip code she resided in. As Jon Kabat-Zinn so wisely said, “Wherever you go…there you are.”

So, next time you experience a big loss, do yourself a favor and take pause. Chances are the big change you think you want will still be there for the taking.

It’s normal and healthy to be sad and mourn. Any life altering changes can wait and you’ll feel better with your decision knowing it’s the right one.

Wishing y’all lots of health, peace and happiness.