Sometimes Love Isn't Enough

I used to believe things like, “Love conquers all” and “With enough love you can move mountains.” That was until this week when I lost a friend to addiction. He was the most loved and lovable guy I ever met.

Truly, I never heard anyone say that they didn’t love him. He was funny and fun and kind and giving. He had four beautiful children, a loving mom, siblings who adored him, friends, near and far. He had a great job and a full life.

Unfortunately, years ago he got addicted to hard drugs. By the grace of God, he got better, but then he didn’t. This same theme played over and over again. The priest at the funeral gave a beautiful sermon about how we fall and we get up, we fall and we get up.

And how many times, my friend did that, over and over again. And how brave and strong he was every time he got up after falling, again.

He had a relapse about a year ago, but had been clean for 14 months. 14 months of fighting the demon every day and finding a way to be strong and not give in to his addiction.

Just two weeks ago, I chatted with him and he told me how he was never better, on top of the world.

The day before he died, he told a friend he was doing great. No one knows what transpired between one day and the next that made him reach for drugs instead of reaching out for help.

He had dozens, if not hundreds of people he could have called that day to say, “I’m hurting or I’m tempted, I need your help.” Every single person in his life would have stopped time to make sure he was still here today.

The evening they had a wake for him, the wait was over an hour just to get inside. 2,500 people showed up to say, “We love you, we love your family, we wish so much you were still here.”

At the service the love and heartbreak in the church was palpable. There was literally not a dry eye in the house. I keep thinking, he had so much to live for, so much love in his life.

But all that adoration, all the collective love, still…it wasn’t enough. Because if ever there was a time that love was enough, he would still be with us.

Love is messy and beautiful and painful and wonderful. I’ve cried a lot of tears over the past few days, as I know have thousands of others who are grieving over the loss of our friend. I wish so much that love had been enough to keep him here.

I hope he knows the lasting impression he left on so many. A beautiful legacy he should be so proud of. Until we meet again, he’ll be in our hearts forever… RIP DD.