Not Deciding is a Decision
When I was in college at the University of Maryland, I was fortunate to take a lot of interesting classes. However, I can’t remember the names of most of the courses I took or worse, what I learned in them.
The exception is a class I took called, Decision Making.
The description sounded interesting and I’ve always been terrible at making decisions, so it intrigued me. We learned a lot of ways to make choices-everything from pros and cons lists to charts and grids and all sorts of crazy matrices.
The biggest takeaway for me was that not making a decision is indeed a decision. Even today, so many years after I graduated college, when I hear that, I take pause.
So if you don’t feel ready to do something, then don’t, and be at peace with realizing that your inaction is ok. Sometimes you need more time, more information, more courage.
I have a friend who was unhappy with her job for a long time, but the idea of starting over terrified her. She put out a few resumes and would browse Linkedin from time to time, but the reality is she didn’t put a lot of time into looking for a new job because she just wasn’t ready.
Her non-action was a choice to stay at her current company and eventually she felt stronger and more prepared to change jobs.
Once she was ready, everything shifted. Her time and effort were commensurate with her desire to leave her current job and shortly after she started looking, she had multiple offers.
That’s the thing, deciding is just the first step and that’s why so many of us get stuck in it. We know that if we want something different like moving to a new house or ending a relationship, the decision is just the beginning.
The first step of many and those steps can be tedious and terrifying.
So of course, staying in the status quo is often the answer. It’s comfortable, it’s familiar and for the most part, it takes the least amount of time and courage.
If you are ready to make a big change, oftentimes you will just know. You’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach, your gut will tell you that you need something else and that feeling will be the catalyst to push you to take the next step.
If you’re not there yet, don’t be hard on yourself. Big decisions should never be taken lightly. All good things come to those who wait. Don’t rush something for anyone, but yourself. When you’re ready, you will know it. Trust that.
In the meantime, be proud of the status quo because not deciding may be the best decision you can make.