I Wasn’t Even Looking

I wasn’t looking for a house or a guy, but ironically they both appeared within a couple weeks of each other.

I have a house and had no plans to move, but then I went to see a townhouse with my friend, Carla, and I fell in love.

It got me rethinking about all of my plans and the next thing I knew I was almost buying a house I didn’t even know I wanted.

A couple of weeks later, I got a message from a guy I had met in a bar back in December. We became friends on Facebook that night, but then basically I forgot about him.

He reached out and said we had a fun vibe that night and asked if I wanted to meet for drinks. I said yes, even though I wasn’t actively dating.

I was busy considering my big move and focusing on my family and friends. I knew the move would be a lot work, but I absolutely loved the idea of living next to one of my best friends.

I went from having no plans on moving or dating, to moving and having fun with this new guy.

The new house seemed so great, but then I realized I really wanted my master bedroom on the first floor. It was so great, but the laundry was upstairs. It was so great, but we’d have fewer bedrooms. 

All of a sudden, I realized that although the house was beautiful and brand new, it didn’t really meet all of my needs.

In typical fashion, my love life started to mirror the rest of my life.

At first glance, the guy was great. He was funny and fun and smart. Three of my top favorites.

However, he’s only been divorced a year, so he wasn’t looking for anything serious. The irony of all ironies is that I wasn’t looking at all.

But not serious implies very casual and that’s just not who I am.

At first I thought the universe was trying to tell me, “When you least expect it…”

But when I got quiet and listened to the real message, it wasn’t that. 

It was-don’t settle for shiny and new. 

My next house will have a master bedroom on the main level and my next guy will want to date just me. 

On one of our dates while we were eating and talking he said he felt like as he got older he had to lower the bar. I smiled and then chimed in that I felt the opposite. I’m raising the bar. 

Since I know I am ok on my own, I am not settling. I hope you don’t either.

When I said it, I didn’t realize I was actually referring to him. And not for any reasons on paper, but for being at different stages of what we want in life. 

My friend Hailey posted this quote and I’m sticking to it.

This entire experience opened my eyes to what can be when all the stars align and I’m so grateful that not looking helped me clarify what I really want in a home, in a man, in my life.

See, the universe was talking to me after all…even when I wasn’t looking.