Is Two Years a Long Time or a Short Time?

Last week, I was talking to my sister about selling my house and moving into a smaller, more manageable townhouse.

With only two of my four kids living at home full-time, selling our house while the market is still hot seems like a practical idea.

Then I got to thinking that if Jack goes to college out of state, then maybe moving now isn’t such a great idea, especially if I decide to move out of NJ too.

My mindset was 2 years is not a long time in a new place for all the hassle that I’d have to go through to get there. Then my sister said something that made me rethink that. 

She said, “Two years is not really a short amount of time if it means you’ll enjoy the new house and have less stress.”

While I still have to decide if I’m going to move, her thought process really got me thinking.

Is two years a long time or is two years a short time?

I can tell you that when my kids were babies and up all night, two hours seemed like a long time. And I can tell you that when my mom’s oncologist said best case scenario she had a year or two left to live, two years seemed impossibly short.

And as my dad got older and would come to visit us from Florida, we knew each visit could be the last one and every day with him flew by and felt like a gift.

Time, and how long or short it feels must be the most relative thing in the whole world.

Ten seconds of pain is ten seconds too long and a lifetime of being with a loved one, it’s still never enough.

When my kids were little, I vividly remember complaining to an older neighbor who babysat for me sometimes about how overwhelmed I was. I don’t think I slept well for at least 10 years between being pregnant and nursing and my kids climbing into my bed every night. I was utterly exhausted all the time. 

I secretly did want the days to go by quickly so I could get into bed and watch TV or read without hearing, ‘mama, mama, mama’ for the umpteenth time.

She said, “It’s so true-the days are long and the years are short,  but if you don’t try to enjoy every phase, you’ll wake up and you’ll have missed all the amazing parts of each stage your kids are in.”

I got teary eyed and felt badly for wishing away their neediness. I vowed to wake up each day with the mindset that this stage won’t last forever and to enjoy it, no matter how tired I was or how tedious things seemed in the moment.

Of course, she was so right. The years have literally flown by. My ‘baby’ is driving and in a little more than two years, he’ll be off to college. 

I’d give anything to go back in time, just for a day or so-to listen to their tiny little voices asking me to make them a snack, again, or could I lie with them and rub their backs for just five more minutes as they drifted off to sleep.

They wanted and needed me in a way that will never be replicated. There is a sadness to that, but a part of me is so happy I have raised the most amazing kids. They are sweet and kind and smart, and above everything else, they are good people.

I won’t take all the credit for that, but I sure did remind them time and time again to use their manners, to be good sharers, to love each other. 

When things are tough, two years can seem like forever. But one thing I know for sure, no amount of time will ever feel like enough when it comes to being with my kids.

So I’m going to be incredibly present for the next two years that Jack still lives with me. Maybe if I cherish every moment of every hour of every day, then somehow two years, will seem, just right…