Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word

As a mom, I am constantly teaching and re-teaching my kids things. Everything from reminding them to use their manners to actually remembering to hit “submit” after they complete their homework (that was a fun one during Covid).

One thing that has been at the forefront of the lessons I tried to teach my kids, is to be able to apologize.

It could be as simple as bumping into someone and saying, “Opps, sorry, my bad” to a heartfelt apology when they have really hurt someone.

Personally, I don’t have a hard time with it and apologize pretty freely. However, I know for some it’s really difficult.

I think for those that have a hard time with it, they don’t see it as a one time, “I’m sorry I did whatever…” 

They see it as some kind of admittance of being a bad mom, dad, boyfriend, kid, etc, when that is usually not the case.

We are human and we all make mistakes. The best thing you can do is to apologize and do it quickly. 

Don’t let things fester because what was probably not such a big deal can turn into something much larger and can even fracture relationships.

My parents were amazing, but one thing that drove me crazy is that they had a really hard time apologizing. I rarely, if ever, heard either one of them say, “I’m sorry.”

Maybe it was a generational thing that parents should never let their kids see them as anything less than “perfect” or “right”. 

However, it really bothered me and when my kids were little I vowed to not pass on that mindset.

Of course, I have messed up and said or done the wrong thing, too many times to mention. I always feel badly and will make amends with no problem.

I think it’s really important for kids to see their parents make mistakes, own it, apologize and then move on.

All these years later, I see my intentions were not overlooked and I am so proud.

This past weekend my girls were home visiting for a few days. They ended up bickering about stupid stuff and the next thing I knew they were really mad at each other to the point that they weren’t even speaking in the airport of their way back to college.

When one of my daughters called to say she was confused as to why the other was not talking to her, I reminded her she was super cranky and rude to her sister that morning and that she should apologize.

That just because she was tired and rushed does not give her license to be unkind. Since it was hours after it happened, she was able to reflect and admit her part in the scuffle.

She texted her sister she was sorry, she didn’t like fighting and she loves her. 

It meant a lot to her that her sister was able to own up to what she did. She apologized for her part in their fight and now all is good in the Texas sister world.

The love between siblings is so important and I will always do what I can to help keep the peace.

So simple, yet could have been so unnecessarily complicated.

Personally, when someone says to me, “I’m sorry” it’s so much more than the actual words.

What I also hear is, “I value you, I care about you, I take ownership of that I hurt you.”

So if you’re someone who has a hard time apologizing, I encourage you to work on that.

It’s incredibly freeing and cathartic and you may save or mend a relationship that you value. At a bare minimum, you will feel better for taking responsibility for hurt that you have caused.

Elton John said it so eloquently with his song, “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word”. 

It doesn't have to be though. Most people are super understanding and the faster you make amends, the faster you can all feel whole.

Wishing y’all lots of love, peace and comfort in knowing that ‘sorry’ doesn’t have to be the hardest word.